January 2, 2023

Perhaps it’s because my line of work is in community and in the nature of caring for others that in 2022, I lost sight of taking care of myself this past year.

Here's my new 2023 morning routine:

• wake up, room temperature water, and step outside for a walk around the new york block, no phone or airpods. I want to feel the city and greet the environment and ideally hear some birds

• come back and breathwork and meditation. I am in fight and flight in my body, the tension I hold in my muscles from years of living in my father’s house. I want to undo all of that and I've got to do it daily

• gratitude 3 things that I’m thankful for. It’s not lost on me how lucky I am to be living this life and I want to keep centered on what a charmed life I have to attract more blessings and luck (2023 is the year of the lucky rabbit!)

• do what feels right, trust yourself. Some mornings this is most likely yoga and stretching and others, it's doomscrolling on Twitter

​Goals are great but who are you becoming?

I’ve always felt like things happen to us in life because of the person we decide to be. There are a lot of viral TikToks about “method-acting” or being delusional to reach success. I see some truths in what they’re saying. One thing I like to do is dream of my future self.

These are the questions I answer:

1. Who is my ideal self? (she's a writer, speaker, and a full time creator)

2. What behaviors/habits does she have? (she's invested into self-care, soul-care, works hard, puts herself first)

3. What are her values? (friends, relationships, loyalty, excellence in her work, and intentionality in her actions)

4. What are her beliefs? (God has her beautiful life so planned out, she just has to trust)

5. What is your identity? (she's elegant, loving, and impactful in her community)

6. What skills does she have? (top-tier communication skills, storytelling skills, public speaking skills, and world class interpersonal skills when it comes to people)

7. What environment do you find her in? (she's in Seoul, New York, LA, SF, and other major cities' and hotel bars)

My girl crush is my future self.

Links worth sharing:

• ​How I designed The Org's startup office in Soho written by me

• Mesmerized by creation spaces​

• What today in the bigger picture of time​

• Submission and dominance among friends

• Questions to ask yourself like "where do you want to belong?"

• How to specifically ask for help from people

• I've followed Sophia since her Vine days in 2013 and love seeing how courageous she's gotten with sharing her introspections and vegan recipes. My morning routine is influenced by hers​

• 13 steps to becoming a creator

• Things to say when offering sympathy when you don't know what to say

• ​Why I do what I do in this life written by me

Photos of the newsletter:

Quote of the newsletter

"If people loved themselves as much as they cared about other people think, their life would completely change." - Jen Gottlieb

July 24, 2022

I love being single.

However, I have few girlfriends who are also single with me. There are handfuls of them who are doubling down on their current summer flings with boys who I think are below their league but ok, I'm here to support. Most of them are likely going to mold into solid relationships come autumn, you'll see. I, on the other hand, continue to roam around New York as single as a hummingbird - clinking glasses on rooftops, dating guys I meet on dance floors, and running to Queens and back. There's no better city to be single in than New York. Besides that, I'm super work focused.

I only have 1 rule: Never go straight home after work

I've met more people this summer in New York than I have in any other summer, ever.

How this is happening:

• I work in an office downtown and since I'm already dressed to be out, spontaneous evening plans are met with a "yes I'd love to!"

• I work in community at The Org and therefore feel a responsibility to get a sense of the current NYC tech community which is vibrant and I'm in love with it

• I collaborate with local NYC vendors to keep an office space running successfully and always go in relationship-first than "solve this for us please." Friendships can blossom from business relations

• I say yes to my friends' get togethers and meet all their friends

• I respond to strangers who say hi and ask to connect on socials (I used to never do this a year ago and would keep walking idk what's changed life is short I guess)

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Questions I ask people when meeting them for the first time

• What are you looking forward to lately?

• Tell me something that's made you smile today.

• What's something you're spending more time on than usual these days?

I try to stay away from the classic "what do you do for work" questions we love asking in NYC but look... it always comes up and when you are doing work you love, people love hearing you talk about it so go ahead with that one - own it.

A life principle of mine is to Avoid Boring People (double meaning). Asking different questions helps with this.

Come through to our future NYC meetups

We hosted a dinner in April with team leaders and founders in NYC. I'm anti-happy hour and very pro-intimate experiences so I'm revving up my social engine to host some more close knit events at The Org this summer such as a debate night, tech product potluck dinners, and more. My goal is do collaborations because 2 awesome hosts are better than 1.

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If you're following me on Twitter or LinkedIn, you'll be in the know. :)

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You know you did the right thing when you are rewarded with peace

I moved out of my West Village bedroom and my ex-roommate Venmo requested $100 for a cleaning fee ($300 split 3 ways that she paid in 'cash' she says so no receipt). I was pissed off about it and shocked because a) I wasn't consulted that we'd hire a $300 cleaning service b) I asked for a deep cleaning of the apartment in the 10 months I lived there and we never did one and c) I left my bedroom in the cleanest condition than when I even moved in. I thought the whole thing was rude.

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It sat on my chest for days. I didn't want to pay it. I didn't respected her for this and we didn't get along in general but we dealt, you know.

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Eventually, I paid it. Fuck it. I paid it because it wasn't money I was giving her anymore, it was peace I was giving back to myself. We can't control the asshole attitudes of other people or how they treat us but we can control how we decide to protect our peace.

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Links worth sharing

• The real meaning behind these job interview questions

• Best start to a busy day is a slow morning and this yoga routine has been my jam

• I love the midday summer haze in this endless poem of love

• 10 questions to guide you to an extraordinary life

• Living life in the pursuit of balance through finding mindfulness with little technology

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Photos of the newsletter

Between the last newsletter and this one, I went to Copenhagen and then Korea and then moved to the UES for the near future.

Quote of the newsletter

"Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bedroom. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not.
Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul." - W.E.B. Du Bois

March 29, 2022

I would rather do nothing than be bored.
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For a long time, I thought I had some level of ADHD. A lot of people I knew did. Every teammate I spoke with on the sales team at these tech startups had a distinct “get to the point” expression and asked filtering questions in every exchange. They were trying to keep focused, to make sure they distilled what they needed to know, and then would quickly and politely move on to something else that interested them more.
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As an active seeker of deep conversations and curious people who create meaningful discussions too, I feel drained by pretty much anything else. An hour work meeting where I have to watch something to learn— bored. A surface level conversation coffee chat where the person talks about weather and work— bored. A movie with a predictable plot— bored.
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I am happier sitting by myself, no phone, letting my mind wander than doing any of the above.
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I would rather do nothing than be bored. They are not the same. Doing nothing isn’t boring. Doing nothing can be recharging, letting my mind settle, or doing a body scan to check in with myself until I eventually settle into the peaceful "act" of doing nothing.
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Perhaps it has to do with living in bustling cities like New York and Seoul where we are served stimulation in our daily environments all day that our brains are chemically adapted to receiving inputs. Requiring them almost. All of this personally makes sense.
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It drains me to be bored with mindless work or small talk. After all, my anti-goal in life is to live a boring one.

Can you be ambitious and yet feel fulfilled?

Joseph Jude weighs in with a short post about what the balance of ambition and contentment.

Recently, while thinking more about the topic, everything came together. There are three aspects to life in this context: being, doing, and having.

• Being - what you are; who you are; what characters you exhibit etc

• Doing - what you do for yourself, family, and others.

• Having - what you accumulate in this life - not just tangible things like money, car, and house but also intangible things like fame, network.

I realized that Paul was ambitious in being and doing but content in having.

I should be ambitious in being and becoming a better person; I should be ambitious in doing good for others and myself; I should be ambitious in making this world a better place; I should be ambitious in fulfilling my purpose in this life. It’s no humility to live a lesser life than the one you are capable of living. At the same time, I should be content with what I have achieved, acquired, and accumulated.

A side project I failed on

In January, I took on the challenge to upload to YouTube for 30 days. I was doing great at the beginning and then I had days when I cried heavy and felt too shitty to edit and upload. I also traveled for work and barely slept. I break down what it all felt like here in this 1 and half minute clip.

Cozy links worth sharing

• A video of things to watch that are comforting

• A store to help you curate minimalist environmentally friendly pieces in the home

• If you need an encouraging pep talk from kindergartens, call Peptoc. I dialed ext. 2 and liked it so much

• Feeling the music and really listening to the lyrics of this song is soulful

• Rewatching Disney animated classics as an adult hits different

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Suspenseful and meaningful shows worth watching

• ​Behind Her Eyes will have you hooked to the screen as the plot unfolds episode by episode

• The WeWork documentary on Hulu is insightful. I'll be watching the Apple+ drama soon. I love to watch all dramas about startups

• ​D.P. is story about mandatory military service men serve as South Korean citizens. It gets real dark real fast.

• ​The Invisible Guest is a phenomenal Spanish film with a beautiful emotional cliff

If you're new to my movie recommendations, I mainly watch thrillers or dramas with a unique plot that leaves you guessing what happens next or an underrated story that you'd never learn outside of the movie.

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Photo of the newsletter

New headshot. I wanted one that was less tech startup and more 'she's a world class designer and storyteller' vibe. Frank nailed it.

Quote of the newsletter

"Luck favors those in motion." - Alexander Tan

February 6, 2022

I've grown so much emotionally and relationally in my work life. I look at back at 22 year old self with massive embarrassment.

I used to:

• Feel like I had to prove myself and show off my competence

• Work 65+ hours a week to indicate I was a fucking sales enablement machine

• Make sure everyone knew I was right all along when a new project failed like I predicted it would before it launched

Now:

• I leave conversations making sure the other person feels confident in our relationship than I do feeling "right" about something

• I lead with personal updates before work ones

• I present an open ended question to get them thinking and circling back later than trying to get answers I needed from in the first place

​The biggest difference is in the game I'm playing. I am taking the peaceful longterm approach with people I frequently spend time around and it turns out that in my life, it's my teammates. Eventually, we all won't be working together since no one stays at one company for their whole life. When we part ways, in the spirit of Maya Angelou, I hope they'll remember how I made them feel.

Meanwhile I've been getting more creative

I want to feel more connected to people. Yes I love writing but I show up differently in vlogs like more dimensional or something. I vlogged since the early days of Snapchat, showing people who already knew me what I'm up to at Rutgers. Then later on I'd taken the habit to Instagram Stories showcasing my life at tech startups in NYC and CA.

The truth is I vlog like people don't care because they seldom do. They just want to be entertained.

So for me, vlogging feels like breathing. It's something I do for myself to stay alive. I get to say to the internet, "hey, I'm going to UPS to return this meditation pillow because it's actually a repurposed dog bed." It's one of the many ways I have fun.

Vlogging on IG has felt natural because:

• I'm fast at it-- hold down button, record and post, sometimes I don't even rewatch before posting

• it was comforting to know the content was gone after 24 hours

• and I never cared what the people who followed me thought about my life

Last month, I added a new daily habit: capturing and editing vlogs of my life every day to stay on on YouTube forever instead of expiring after a day on IG Stories.

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A creative new thing in my life

I'm doing 30 straight days of YouTube uploads. So far, I captured weekend workshops, moments at The Org, dinner with friends, and my customer experience at Five Guys.

It's already been imperfect because I missed a few days. I creatively combined the footage into one video to publish (better late than never, right?) and I am not a quitter. The next video I'm uploading will also be a few days of vlogs into one because I traveled to Copenhagen two nights ago and basically slept 15 hours straight since I landed.

What I'm hoping for is that I'm able to make closer friends on the internet and share life experiences with them. Like a lot of my generation, I live out loud.

Personal questions I frequently revisit

• What beliefs and ideas matter uniquely to me?

• When do I feel most like myself these days?

• What am I genuinely, actually afraid of?

• What does happiness look like now?​

New apps on my iPhone

• Noom - in an effort to eat healthier, I downloaded Noom and took their daily courses at $45/month subscription. Today, I deleted it. I'm constantly forgetting to log my meals and after some days of not logging, the app forces you to start all over from the beginning 101. Fuck that. And I hated logging my meals

• ​Mindstreaks - love this community meditation app. If you download, give me a follow so we can give each other kudos for the days we meditate together

• ​Hinge - yup, back on this after deleting it 8 months ago in Seoul and it still sucks

• ​Co-Star - While I'm not into horoscopes and astrological things, I do believe in the power of the stars. Long ago, men used to look up to the stars to find their way on the ocean and feel connected to a bigger picture. This app maps out your star alignment and a hyper personalized profile according to your rising sign and stuff. Shout out to my girl Bara to introducing me.

Quote of the newsletter

If you wish to be a writer, write.

- Epictetus

October 30, 2021

I'm 2 months late with this according to the monthly cadence I set myself on and I apologize. I missed writing to you.​

I've had this in drafts for weeks, backspacing paragraphs and rewriting them again and again. I was a mental mess. I'll tell you about that later.

But first, I was right about summers being transitional. Biggest update: I started a new job at The Org to build its community in New York City and so far, so good. I'm on a steep learning curve with interior design and office setup which is something I didn't know the role entailed as much but luckily, I've had a personal interest in this just never got to dedicate a lot of time to it until now. I'm determined to make office operations a well-oiled machine so I can move on to more interesting work.
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One principle I was taught when I worked at Procore was to work yourself out of your current role so you can take on a better one.

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​No one tells you how to grieve for yourself​

I had a health scare on Monday night well into Tuesday morning. I shared it with my team at our Daily Check-In and couldn't hold back my tears. I had to have an operation and everything about it scared me.

For the rest of this week, I mentally checked out and performed my tasks on autopilot. Yesterday, I went to the clinic, stripped down naked, wore a gown, hospital socks, and a hair net and was escorted to several stations - blood first, sonogram next, anesthesia following, and then the operating table. It had a metal rim that was cold against my arm when I had to extend it for the IV drip. Old school hiphop was playing on low volume and the lights on the ceiling were blinding.

"I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, get everything fucking OUT of me" is all that played in my head. I felt detached from my own body. I felt sorry for my own body, for the invasiveness of all these needles and machines, for the unnaturalness of what I was forcing it through. "I'm so sorry" I said to myself as I cried the whole time.

I feel like I lost an honest part myself yesterday. It's not lost on me that I'm healthy now and that's what matters. I want to move on now.

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​The opposite of repression is expression

I am a master at repressing my emotions.
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Someone made me feel sad? I shove that sadness down and show up positive. The sadness will pass. Someone made me feel unimportant about my work? I check that frustration to the side and drive the project to completion. Fuck that person.
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In time, these repressed emotions find a home in parts of my body. I feel my stress live between my shoulder blades, worry in my stomach, and anxiety in my jaw. Sadness travels between my chest and my cheeks. Happiness melts it away and I feel fluid.
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I got disgustingly sick a few weeks ago and my work didn't stop. I tried desperately to rest but I couldn't. After 4 days of being out, I returned to the office popping cough drops and antibiotics because I had a level of guilt for being out that I could not shake.
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At first though, I felt anger. I was angry at my work for still pinging me while I was out sick. I was angry at myself for getting sick. I was angrier for feeling guilty about taking time off when it is the most important thing I could be doing.
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I took these forcing feelings to the West Side Highway and ran for miles. It helped but I still had a lot of anger in me. So I signed up for private boxing sessions at Gotham Gym and then I hired a coach to meet me at the piers on Sundays at 7am. So far, the boxing has been the ultimate release of emotions. Crying helps, too. I should let myself cry more often.

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​Interesting things I read on the internet

Finally an article on NFTs thats easy to understand

Which means I have to mention Web3 in one of my favorite formats - a Twitter thread​

The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan is one my all time favorite books, here's a glimpse of her writing

​11 Laws of Showrunning by screenwriter and producer Javi Grillo-Marxuach is a fun read that I'll be drawing inspiration from

Just because you're moving does not mean you're progressing

Endless ideas for building a website

The history of animation makes me want to subscribe to Disney+ so I can rewatch my childhood favorites

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Photo of the Newsletter

My morning walk to work before Daylight Savings looks a lot like dusk, which is my favorite time of day before twilight sets in. When the city looks this pretty, I don't listen to music during my commute so I can admire it through all my senses.​

Quote of the Newsletter

"The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice; it is conformity." - Rollo May​

Stay true, readers

Sending gentle hugs,

Kaila

August 1, 2021

Summers have a pattern of being meaningful and transitional seasons for me.

• 5 years ago, I quit Sprinklr and almost moved to Houston with my then-boyfriend. We broke up. Sprinklr recruited me back.

• 4 years ago, I made the decision to fully pursue a sales enablement career. I poured myself into my work and only met dates for brunch.

• 3 years ago, I moved to Santa Barbara to work at Procore.

• 2 years ago, I was in London and later moved to New York for a short startup stint.

• Last year, I moved to Seoul while working full-time for CreatorIQ. Soon after, I found Seoul Startups.

Who knows what new thing we'll embark on this summer?

The Current and the Wind

Earlier this month, Seth Godin wrote a post about how "The wind gets all the attention. The wind howls and the wind gusts… But the wind is light. The current, on the other hand is persistent and heavy. On a river, it’s the current that will move the canoe far more than the wind will. But the wind distracts us."

Here are the examples in my life.

Wind:

• Almost all social media posts

• Definitely TikTok trends

• Drama with people I've never met

• Drama with people I have met but don't care about

• Family drama

Current:

• Deepening my close friendships

• Running faster and longer

• Planning dinners and intimate gatherings in New York

• Writing on Quora and shipping this newsletter

• Building cool stuff with good people

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Dreams Do Come True

I planned a minimalist entrepreneur gathering with my classmates and tech buddies last week. Sahil Lavingia, the course teacher and one of my favorite people on the internet, was in town and I got to meet him in person. It was legendary. He sat across from me as I learned how he structures his day and approaches meetings with people. As a startup founder and fund manager, you'd think he would live a crazy busy life. Instead, he's designed his company to run well without him by hiring people under the principle that "everyone is a CEO." I only know him through Twitter and now the course but what I love most about him is how authentic he is.

This piece about how he failed to build a billion-dollar company got him well known in the community.

Things I Loved in July and Want to Show You

Who wants to live an easy, boring life?
Finding the work you love to do requires great discipline. But then doing that work requires less discipline because you love it.
Architects hire environmental psychologists; tech companies hire UX researchers​
Chillin' with your friends on Zoom
Marine Serre Fall/Winter 2021 Collection: filmed and displayed
When death comes, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something real
The Neighbors' Window: an Oscar winning short film
I'm a passionate gatherer of people, it's what gets me in flow

Photo of the Newsletter

I took my girlfriend Lisa to The Moth at a cemetery in Brooklyn on Friday night. With the fireflies in the background and airplane lights flying above, the storytelling event had the perfect ambiance.

With love, Kaila

July 6, 2021

So for no reason except that I'm psychotic at times, I decided to challenge myself by not turning on the AC today.

It's supposed to reach a high of 94, including humidity. But this is what I need right now. I need to get uncomfortable, to feel out of place, and in doing so, create my own sweat lodge in my house.

This is good.

When I was younger, I think our house AC was on like twice to help my family save money and because "no one has died from sweating," as my father would say.

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Things I Learned in June

• I read this book twice it's that good. Psycho-Cybernetics is written by a plastic surgeon who takes a close look at his patients' behavior after their aesthetic surgical procedures. He studied how a person does not change just because he has a new nose until he changes his inside identity, too. A lot of patients will appear objectively beautiful but still walk around as if they're ugly. Here are my quick notes, my in-depth notes, a video of my review when I read the book the first time.
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• In relationships, we are wired to experience two kinds of attractions - attraction of inspiration and attraction of deprivation. Anna Akana breaks them down in this video. Key takeaway: go for attraction of inspiration. Be with a someone who raises you up. This TikTok explains how people rise and fall to their partners' levels. I believe it's through this that you can heal in a healthy relationship. I recently caught up with a few friends who seem more adjusted, grown, and in overall great headspace. The window of attribution is huge but I think them being in the right, committed relationship has been a tremendous influence on them.
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• Be less impressed and more involved with your life. That was my #1 takeaway from Matthew McConaghey's Greenlights. It was a phenomenal read. He's a great storyteller. I devoured it in 3 days and here are my favorite parts.
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• The fastest way to move up at a startup is to work yourself out of your current job. In practice, it looks like this: "here was the problem, here's what we did to solve it, here's what we will do if that doesn't improve it." This is the tweet.
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• I was tutored in storytelling last month by one of the greats, Minna Taylor. We covered so much about group conversation dynamics, story fundamentals, keeping momentum, and even how to breathe. But one the best assets I discovered with her was this TedxTalk about tonality. I love it so much. If you've watched Wolf of Wall Street, you'll know Jordan Belfort uses these same tactics.
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• An early indicator that I was good at public speaking was my 8th grade history teacher's praise. It was in his class that I delivered my first speech and it was sprinkled with SAT vocab words.

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One Thing I'm Proud Of

I declined a job opportunity for the work I've been doing, became good at, would get paid well for, but no longer want to do. I'm proud for saying true to who I am and what I want now.

Also, when you hear from a great, early stage tech company that everyone brags about being an investor in, you take the call.

Because I think younger me would've taken this role, even when I knew I don't love the work anymore.

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Quote I'm Loving

"Do you want to understand how to swim or do you want to jump in and start swimming? Only people who are afraid of the water want to understand it. Other people jump in and get wet."

- Michael Crichton

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Photo of the Newsletter

May 4, 2021

Greetings from my little studio apartment in Gangnam where I've been living for a few weeks. This area of Seoul is busier than where I used to live in Haebangchon and has more Koreans than expats. I'm happier here because the whole apartment gets flooded with light.

What I learned in March and April

• The experiences I crave are more about depth and less about novelty. Here's a Harvard Commencement Speech about commitment and closing doors to show your love to one thing rather than staying lukewarm about everything. It struck a chord with me for my life professionally and geographically. I'm excited to plant roots somewhere in the coming years and build local community

• Moderators like when panelists ask them questions back because it creates a dialogue. This back and forth rhythm is enjoyable to the human ears than a formal interview format. As I've moderated countless panels and had the opportunity to be a panelist on a couple stages, these are things moderators wish their speakers knew.

• I love publishing my personal philosophy on the internet because it stamps a moment in time when I centered my world around a particular way of thinking

• Nature is always teaching us something. The Netflix documentary, My Octopus Teacher does a phenomenal job in telling this story

• Some of the best conversations on Clubhouse are uploaded to YouTube on Clubhouse Podcasts. This is great because I'm living in a timezone opposite to some of my favorite influencers such as Naval and Sahil and I still get to hear them

• Speaking of Naval, here's the Almanack of Naval Ravikant which has his philosophies on wealth and happiness. Jack Butcher who I've written about in my past newsletters was the illustrator for it. Here's the free version available, too

• I have considered using Calendly for people to book time with me but I decided against it. My reasons are 1) life is short 2) my deep work is most important and 3) just because I'm extroverted and you're a new person does not make you interesting. It's not my job to be accessible to everyone. I love meeting new people but I have to be convinced. Otherwise, I'll see you at a coffee shop somewhere serendipitously

1 Reminder and 1 Question To Make Better Decisions

1. You never need to give up your power

2. If you do this, how will it make you feel about yourself?
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My Spontaneous Speaking Tour Last Week

• Rutgers University asked me to join their alumni panel about student organizations preparing you for the skills you'll need in "real life" work. My first answer was about incentives. Everyone is a part of a college club for their own unique reason. As a leader, it's your job to learn what it is and use it well. It's a parallel for why people choose to work at a company
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• A few days later, I was invited to speak to the business undergraduates at the Carlson School of Management, University of Minnesota. Teaching back the cultural callouts in South Korean business etiquette and meeting styles is what solidified it in my head, too

My spontaneous speaking tour wrapped with the business students at he University of Tanjungpura in Indonesia. This is one the most special talks I have given because the students asked insightful and heart-filled questions about growing up, time dedication, and mindsets during life's most challenging times. To answer their questions thoughtfully, I had to share my truth. I was concerned it was off topic to what they expected but when I read the comments, I was reminded that sharing our story is one of life's best gifts you can give someone because it's a part of you, with them

I always knew I would be an international public speaker. This was all virtual so I look forward to the day I get to do this all in person, on live stages, all over the world

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What else I've been up to lately

• Being happy in this cute studio apartment in Gangnam, I filmed a short tour of the place for you guys

Before I was here, I was living in Jeju with Seoul Startups. You can see the photos on my Instagram and below is a picture we took at the Jeju Creative Economy Center. I observed that growing up in the northeastern U.S. and working in New York City grooms you to track and feel time so meticulously compared to people who grew up someplace else. We met with Jeju's startup scene entities and these meetings would go 60+ minutes over, as if no one had anything planned after it. You could consider me "meeting culture" shocked because I'm such a firm believer in purposeful meetings and keep it moving, atleast when it comes to business. Here’s my reflection written in Seoul Startups Notion.

• I'm reading What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey. Her voice comes through so clear when I read the words on these pages, I am forced to read it slower and write down with a pen everything that stands out to me. I restarted my gratitude practice in my journals because of this book

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Quote I'm Loving

"Live life in 'day-tight compartments.' By living today well you can do the most within your power to make tomorrow better." -Dr. William Osler

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What's on my heart

Media tell us what family should feel like and what role is should play in our lives. While I take pride in knowing it took a Korean man and a Native American woman to make me, I had no participation in choosing the family I was born into. The older I get, the more my family falls apart. As a result, I let go of what family should feel like to someone. I am empowered knowing that I can choose my family through the friendships I invest in and the people I keep close. For now, that's enough for me. I am tremendously grateful for the friends who stood next to me as we weathered the tumultuous storms in my life, together.

If you made it this far in my letter, thank you.

Sending love from Seoul,

Kaila

October 3, 2020

Hi friends!

Sometimes, email spam filters this newsletter. Make sure to mark this as "Looks Safe!" and move it into your primary inbox because I don't want you to miss these.

Greetings from Seoul, where I've finally ran 10K again since I first arrived from New York City. The 2 week quarantine was taxing on my muscles and stamina that I've built up in the summer so it's taken a while to come back to my regular running mileage.

I took this week off of work to celebrate Chuseok, otherwise known as Korean Thanksgiving with my family and scarfed down platefuls of honey rice cakes. Rice cakes and kimchi are foods that I did not eat as a child that I've grown to really enjoy as an adult.

What else I've been up to:

• On Friday, I finished Scott Adam's, the cartoonist and author of Dilbert, book called How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big. Here are my key takeaways from his chapters.

• I also published my book notes and takeaways on Ultralearning by Scott H. Young and on Way of the Wolf by Jordan Belfort, who Wolf of Wallstreet is based on. Ultalearning is more of habit building tactical read. Way of the Wolf is a sales skills book. I've linked my book notes for you above.

• Last month, I shared the story about the moment I saw my "future self" and how I decided I was going to become "her." I've grown past this version of who I wanted to be and now I am embarking on a new, different journey. A journey that you're with me on this time.

• Someone translated my work about childhood trauma into Spanish. I opened up about my own childhood trauma and how it manifests itself later in life. You can read the English version here.

What I've Learned:

• There's a website called Future Me where you can write yourself a letter and it will email it to you in 1 year, 3 years, etc. I plan on typing one up for myself this weekend. Personally, I find exercises like this to be refreshing and important for my soul. It's growth made visible.

• My Korean grandmother believes success is marrying a wealthy man, having healthy children, and then hunkering down and essentially waiting to die. As a survivor of the Korean War and having rised through several socioeconomic classes, I understand that to her, having financial security is number one. It's because of her hard work that I am even able to ask the deeper questions of career and life. And candidly, she is in constant disappointment of me because I'm still "figuring myself out" but I'm holding strong. I am aware that everything is temporary and as long as the relationship is not toxic for me, I'm with her.

• I was reading a print catalogue and in it, I read 10 principles for good design by Dieter Rams, the legendary industrial designer.

Photo of the newsletter

This picture is a behind the scenes from this reel I posted on Instagram. I am grateful that cafes and restaurants are open and operating throughout Seoul. Most cafes I've been to have open doors for maximum ventilation or require you to keep your mask on when you're done eating.

Sending you all the love and positivity.