20 Things That Are Not Worth It

1. Staying at a job for “at least 1 year” because you are afraid it’ll look bad on your resume to employers if you left sooner

   The times have changed.
   
   I’ve been hit up by recruiters when I’ve been in a new role for less than a month. If you are good at what you do, no one cares how long you’ve been working somewhere.
   
   Look, let’s flip the script— if you were a recruiter, wouldn’t you rather hire someone who has the self-awareness to know that something wasn’t a fit and he/she took the initiative to quickly pivot to something else?
   
   This shows that they like to be invested in what they do for work. I think this shows that they care.
   
   Also, you have the power to edit your resume and LinkedIn profile as you see best. Remove those shorter stints if you want. It’s yours.
   
   And in the bigger picture of life, is a random recruiter’s opinion even worth your precious weeks or months of you hating your job? No.
   
   One of my best girlfriends who is crushing it in software sales today had FIVE DIFFERENT jobs in her first year of moving to New York.
   
   Don’t settle. It’s not worth it

2. Putting your parents approval above your own happiness when making decisions about your life

   Half the reason I majored in Economics is because my father wanted me to study business so I could work in finance. I essentially suffered through Econometrics and Calculus courses for my father’s approval.
   
   Fact: I do like Economics now… at 26.
   
   But during university itself, I could have cared less. The other half of the reason is that I had enough credits for it to make sense, so it was convenient.
   
   Each week in college, I was significantly more excited about public speaking in Toastmasters than I ever was about learning the Solow Growth Model.
   
   As I got older, I let go of pleasing my father—
   
   When I told my father I was moving to California, he flipped a shit. He was so mad that he hung up in my face just to call me back and yell at me more.

   “California?!!”
   “I did not pay high property taxes to live close to the best city so you could leave it!”
   “People would die to be able to be in New York. You are being stupid”
   
   I was so upset for making my father pissed off that I almost wanted to call back my hiring manager and rescind my acceptance.
   
   But then I remembered a conversation I had with a high school friend who told me: “you cannot live your one and only life for your dad all the time. It’s not him who’s going to go through it and then dies. It’s you.”
   
   I would rather my parent be angry with me than miss out on a life opportunity.
   

3. Paying ATM fees

   Go to the closest grocery or drug store, buy a water and choose the ‘Cash Back’ option.
   
   Or bank with an online bank who reimburses all fees.

4. Staying up late at night just to be on the phone or FaceTime with someone you’re only “talking” to

   It is not worth being cranky all day for someone who you’re only “talking” to or flirting with or getting to know. They’re not your partner. Potentially nothing could blossom from this.
   
   Your sleep and optimal performance in your day is more important. If you’re in a relationship, I could argue that it’s a different story.
   

5. Being upset at someone for being late to dinner DURING the dinner itself

   Yes, it’s annoying to wait at a restaurant for 15, 20, maybe 30 minutes. Impatience builds up in you. Perhaps you just got off work, it was a long day, you’re hungry and you’re excited to eat. The smell of food from the kitchen is making your mouth water.
   
   But once your guest arrives and he/she can tell you are clearly mad, it totally blows your charisma. It also makes the atmosphere feel awkward to kick things off.
   
   Hold your hangryness, ok? Order a glass of wine. Have them bring the bread. And stop furrowing your brows.
   
   My view is that the whole point of having dinner with someone is not to eat or drink. The whole point is the someone.
   
   You can eat and drink by yourself.
   

6. Forcing yourself to commit to a workout that you clearly hate doing

   If you absolutely hate running, stop running. If you hate being inside at a gym, stop going to a gym.
   
   You ever hear the saying: “the best workout is the one you like”? It’s true.
   
   There are many, many ways to stay fit. It is well worth trying to figure out what you actually enjoy.
   
   I have guy friends who love playing competitive volleyball and just from that sport alone, their physique is pretty great.
   
   Personally, I don’t like yoga. I do it less than 10 times a year. It’s usually with a friend, or an event, or I’m suddenly in the mood (which happens!) However, if I relied on yoga to be my main method of being flexible and building core, I would have so much pent up frustration about it and that seems counterproductive.
   
   Workouts are supposed to release stress not cause it.
   

7. Staying in a job only because the role / industry is all you know even though you are clearly unfulfilled

   I think humans are meant to strive yet so many of us stagnate in roles because we get comfortable in that industry or company.
   
   People fear being a beginner. Learning curves are steep and not everyone is humble to be new at something or hungry enough for a challenge.
   
   I really just think that life is too short to stay in a job that sucks the energy out of you.
   

8. Not exploring high quality pens and paper

   Taking notes on paper during a meeting shows you care. It’s a detail and it matters.
   
   Angel investor, Jason Calacanis, speaks about this during his pitch meetings. He carries a leather notebook and when he hears something worth while, he writes it down. It makes people feel good to see someone take notes on something they said inside an important looking journal than on a measly scrap paper.
   
   I journal every day. I built this habit about 4 and half years ago.
   
   Getting started was not easy. It was difficult to write daily but what helped is that I liked using the Uni-ball Signo gel pens I was writing with and the way they glided on the Moleskine or Kate Spade journals.

9. Staying friends with someone toxic just because he/she has been in your life “forever”

   If a “friend” only shuts down your dreams, keeps getting you drunk, makes you uselessly spend money, and only hurts you in the long game, it is time to LET THEM GO.
   
   It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends for.
   
   You’re a new person and the people you choose to put around you will build you up or bring you down.

10. Staying in a relationship with someone just because of how much time, emotion, energy you already invested in that person

    This is the common story I hear— you’ve dated since high school, went through college as a couple, now you’re in your 20s and it makes sense to talk about getting married but you are not 100% convinced.
    
    However, you want to get married because just the IDEA of having to start all over with a new person terrifies you.
    
    You already put in a lot of your time, energy, emotions, and money into building THIS relationship. All that has led you up to the person you are today.
    
    In economics, we call these things sunk costs.
    
    It refers to the costs that have already been paid and cannot be recovered.
    
    When it comes to decision-making, you should be thinking forward. This means not taking into account costs that have already been paid (ie. years together, relationship depth, emotions felt, etc.) and instead deciding if you want to be with that person or not without accounting for the resources, time, and emotions already “lost.”

11. Still residing in your hometown after graduating (or while you’re in your 20s)

    When I moved to Santa Barbara, I met people who were born, raised, schooled in Santa Barbara. They graduated school and chose to work and live in Santa Barbara.
    
    They never decided to leave.
    
    When I ask them why, the response of “why would I? It’s great here” affirms my assumption.
    
    And they’re absolutely right.
    
    If you’ve never been to Santa Barbara, it is one of THE MOST BEAUTIFUL places in America. It’s sunny for almost 350 days a year. It has both beach and mountains. It’s easy to stay healthy and be around some of the most generous and happy people.
    
    There’s no need to leave a paradise, right?
    
    However, the same accounts for New York City. I’ve met folks here who never want to leave “the best city in the world.” They’re not even curious about living in a different urban area, anywhere else.
    
    It is not worth keeping your narrow view and staying in you little comfort bubble when the world is so big. Leaving your hometown to live across the ocean or across the country or (at least) across the state border forces you to grow.
    
    There may not be a good time or a right time. You just have to do it.

12. Forcing yourself to finish a book you’re no longer enjoying

    Ok, seeing things to their completion borders on an ethical obligation for me.
    
    I finish what I start. It is who I am.
    
    BUT I learned to put down books I don’t like reading anymore and being at peace about it.
    
    You know why?
    
    Life is short and some books are dumb, repetitive, giving me only diminishing marginal returns or no returns at all. I don’t like them anymore or I’m not learning anything new.
    
    Your time is better spent on books or any other activity you actually like than trying to focus on a boring sentences.

13. Spending so much money on a dress for senior prom

    I bought my white off shoulder prom dress for about $350 with my own money. It felt heavy to pay for, knowing I was only going to wear it once and it wasn’t even my own school’s prom.
    
    I had girlfriends who bought their prom dresses for over a grand and thinking about it makes it cringe.
    
    Look, it is a real great time to go shopping for prom dresses. I absolutely loved doing it and I want you to have all the fun with trying on all the different designs and kinds of dresses. I do.
    
    But let me tell you, it is not worth owning a prom dress— whether you paid $300 or $90.
    
    Rent the Runway. Rent it from anywhere. Borrow it from an upperclassman. Thrift it and tailor it. Or if you want to own it, at least buy it for cheap at Marshall’s or Nordstrom Rack (which btw has SUPER pretty ones!)
    
    Otherwise, you own this dress that you’ll never wear and it’s just taking up space.

14. Chasing someone who does not want to be in a relationship

    In the B2B sales world, we’d call this “disqualification.”
    
    We determine if a prospective deal is winnable by qualifying it in the early stages of a sales cycle.
    
    To put it simpler, we qualify whether working an opportunity is worth the sales organization’s time and resources by learning if the prospect has (1) budget to buy and (2) the pain that we solve for.
    
    Romantic pursuits work in a similar fashion.
    
    Pursuing a guy to be with you when he clearly wants to stay single is like pouring all your energy into researching everything about a company’s issues when they do not have any money to even pay for your product.
    
    Therefore, making the deal un-winnable and wasting your time despite your best charisma, clever strategies, and negotiation tactics.
    
    It’s not happening.
    
    You can romance him all you want. He doesn’t want to be with someone. Whether it’s the timing in his life or his preference, whatever the reason, what you’re looking for does not exist with someone who doesn’t want to be pursued.
    
    Not worth your time, sweetheart.

15. Not investing in good quality skin care

    When I say invest, I don’t mean buying the highest priced products.
    
    I don’t even mean buying products.I mean learning about the products.
    
    Put time and research into what ingredients (often harsh chemicals) you’re choosing to slather on your face.
    
    I recommend watching Liah Yoo, Euniunni, and BeautyWithin as they produce honest content that’s educational

16. Buying the trendy shoes, bag, sunglasses, or whatever without vetting if you genuinely want it for yourself

    Rather than letting Instagram or the general media tell you what style you should rock, learn about what you like for yourself. It’s not worth dropping $$$ on trendy pieces for the sole reason that everyone else has them.
    
    In high school, all my girlfriends had a Longchamp bag. I really wanted one just because they all had one. There was no way my father was going to buy one for me.
    
    So I saved money and eventually bought one for myself in my freshmen year of college and you know what— I thought the bag sucked. There’s only one giant pocket, the straps are thin, and it’s way too plain. I didn’t feel good carrying it around.
    
    I think I used it less than 5 times and stopped.
    
    Understand your body type. Understand what makes you feel your best. Understand your capsule wardrobe / style. Understand how much money you feel comfortable to invest in your style.
    
    “Trends come and go. Style is forever.” - Yves Saint Laurent

17. Paying thousands of dollars for college this Fall 2020 Semester

    The chances of college being online this fall are very likely.
    
    If your university is having you pay thousands of dollars for you to be on Zoom for however many hours a day, it is not worth it.
    
    Attending a university is all about the experience— it’s about being around other students from all over the world. It’s about meeting insightful professors. It’s about the unique events on campus. It’s about the weekend frat parties. It’s about the different student clubs. It’s about the football games. It’s about building community.
    
    I’d taken one online class during my time at Rutgers and if they need that for every class and I was taking them all while at home— no, absolutely not worth the money OR the loans you’re potentially taking out.
    
    I imagine the point of you going to school right now is to graduate and get a job.
    
    Skip all that and get a job.
    
    Or build an online business. Or work on a passion while you’re living under your parents’ roof.
    
    Don’t pay big $$ (and please don’t take out a loan) just to attend your university, online version.
    
    Remember that schools = businesses. Do you believe you’re getting the real value of what you’re paying for?

18. Holding a grudge against someone

    “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone; you are burning yourself.” - Buddha
    
    Learn to let go.
    
    Understand that it’s hurt people who hurt people.
    
    Staying angry at someone serves no purpose. It’s not worth your energy. Your inner peace is more important.

19. Paying rent in New York City during this time of COVID-19

    I’m currently having a hard time convincing myself of the merits of living in New York.
    
    And look, I love New York. All my friends can tell you that.
    
    I’m fine paying the rent and high living expenses because NYC offers so much in community, high energy, art, unique opportunity, diversity and activities.
    
    No two days in a row could look the same.
    
    But now all my days sort of look the same.
    
    I’m probably better off not renewing my lease but I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure this one out.
    

20. Dealing with negativity or unhelpful content on your social feeds

    You have the POWER to choose who you follow.
    
    You can curate your Twitter timeline and your Instagram feeds.
    
    Follow accounts that post content you genuinely enjoy.
    
    Don’t be afraid of unfollowing people. A lot of people post unhelpful pictures.
    
    What you put out into the world comes from what you get in. If you’re always looking at violent, harsh, stressful, or hateful content, it’s what you’re filling your head with.
    
    You can choose to scroll through bright, more positive, uplifting content instead.
    
    It’s not worth to deal with seeing pictures/captions/tweets you don’t enjoy when you GET TO CHOOSE.