6 Smart Ways to Make New Friends When You Move

Don’t read this article if you like to stay within your little comfort zone.

When I moved to Santa Barbara six months ago, I didn’t know a single person.

I knew I had to be up for the challenge of putting myself out there every weekend, reaching out to strangers and being in situations where I could meet new people.

If you’re new to a town and you haven’t made any friends yet, it’s because you’re not trying.

Let me break it down for you—

First, USE social media

I leveraged the social media platforms because in this day and age, everyone is on them. It’s easier than ever to get connected to someone you’ve never met before.

1. I N S T A G R A M

This is where I had the most success meeting young Santa Barbara professionals. I searched the hashtags like #santabarbaraliving and #santabarbarablogger to find profiles of people around the area that I would like meet. I’d send a genuine hello and offer to meet for coffee.

Here’s where a lot of people get stuck here wondering “well, what do I say...?” so here’s what I said:

I slid into DMs just like these above for 25+ other Santa Barbara folks.

For half, I got no response.

The other half I got a reply from, some turned into coffee dates and others never followed through. I guess they weren’t interested, which is… cool… you know, *casual shrug*

Instagram is most successful for me because my relationships with the 5-7 people who I met in person and got to know better have truly flourished. Within days, one of them was helping me furnish my new bedroom by driving me to Home Depot and another I accompanied to her church to help me find community.

2. C R A I G S L I S T

Now, I know it’s reputation for being creepy and I acknowledge that. But as equally bizarre as it can be, Craigslist is tremendously useful. I met Fabian through Craigslist as we were going to potentially live together. While our housing didn’t work out, we remained friends and run together whenever our schedules match up.

Since I actively browse the community section of Craigslist, that is how I met Veronica. She was trying to launch a book club and even though it didn’t kick off, she and I would meet for coffee to read and visit the local art exhibits. Later, I discovered we were both passionate about running so we took on the Santa Barbara Elings Park 5K Trail Run together, which was a blast!

3. Q U O R A / L I N K E D I N

Prior to moving to Santa Barbara, my intelligence gathering on the town happened through Quora and LinkedIn. I hit up other young professionals who were working and living here to understand about what life is like from a Millennial / Gen Z perspective.

That’s how I met Stefan. He had answered Santa Barbara living questions on Quora so I knew I had to reach out. Only a couple weeks ago, we recently met for coffee to chat about entrepreneurship, global mobility, and growing your career.

Then, IN PERSON SITUATIONS

I put myself in places where I knew I was bound to meet new people.

1. C L A S S E S

Over the summer, I took a ceramics class on the weekends at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art and I befriended the instructor, of course, because I needed the most help in the entire class.

But I also got to meet other people who were both living or just visiting Santa Barbara. The cool thing about meeting people in classes is that you’re able to get to know them over a period of time without setting anything up because you know you’ll both be there every Saturday morning.

2. C H U R C H

If you practice a religion, finding your local church can help immensely because in addition to everyone being super nice and welcoming, re-centering with God on why you’re even where you are is incredibly helpful.

Every 3-4 weekends, I’m in Los Angeles. It’s for a myriad of reasons - the city vibes, art scene, Korean barbecue, and because I really like Tapestry LA, a church where I met my LA friends and toured downtown in my first weekend in California.

3. S A Y Y E S

If a friend I met invited me out, I went.

No idea what it was they even invited me to? I still showed up.

Just go.

New friends are new adventures, you never know what they’ll teach you. When you’re in a new part of the world, you have nothing to lose and so much more to gain.

HERE’S THE THING—

I was determined to make some great work friends but the anti-goal was that my work friends would be my only friends.

A former Procore employee advised me “You’re going to make some solid friendships at Procore. Don’t fight it. There are a lot of amazing people here.” She was absolutely right and I hang out a with a handful of them, doing Santa Barbara things like movie night in the garden and SoFar Sounds on the weekends.

My point is to embark on your own new relationships by embracing the blend of both online and in person connections. There is a lot of stigma about meeting people online but you have to be real - it’s happening.

Say yes.