What I Notice When I Meet Founders

There is an unspoken language that is expressed when someone is explaining their life’s work. They radiate when they talk, like they’re larger than life right now. It gives me the same feeling of watching a pristinely edited movie trailer, where I just know it’s going to be so good.

Some founders I meet attempt to manufacture this language by talking quickly, forcing an image of themselves, replying to questions with only good news, or avoiding a question altogether. Being intuitive, I see past all of this but I let them put on their show if it makes them feel better in the room that day.

There are the common founder characteristics that VCs like (& certainly not limited to): people who are unreasonably competitive in athletics, academics, or niched hobbies, lived independent childhoods, led a life of high agency choices, shipped impressive work in a short time. Those are the surface signals. The ones I trust more come from slower-paced, deeper 1:1 time where I’m able to peel back layers, relate, and gain my own conviction.

Being sensitive and perceptive, there’s a lot I notice. Here is one I’ve been able to put into words recently: 

You don’t try to care, you just do or you don’t.

Same attitude, different words.

Strong founders are emotionally connected to themselves and to others.

Sales and fundraising is based on emotional connectivity between founder and customer and founder and investor.

In my first startup job, I worked in sales enablement training customer teams how annual retention of a B2B SaaS platform was an emotional decision, never a logical one. When the platform went down, it was a customer success code red to use high class detective-level stalking skills to find out where the CMO is and either hand deliver or remote deliver a fresh cake and handwritten note with an apology. For a founder to understand this depth, they need to obsessively care about their customer.

I know this in my own work, when I’m in authentic alignment of who/what I care about, work feels fun, it’s more like service and less of a big lift. Founders can feel this too. The ones who care don’t have to forcefully push to get things working because while company building is challenging, they’re able to navigate with a luscious flow rather than a forced crank.

I also love that a person can’t fake emotional connection. It exists or it doesn’t because it stems from care. A person’s connection with others will often faithfully mirror their own connection with themselves. A lot of founders won’t admit having done, or doing, or needs to do the hard innerwork to be expansive as a company builder and leader. Some founders have this type of connection already and they’re shy about it. This is a rabbit hole in of itself but it’s usually a subconscious self-inflicted box they put themselves in, but again I digress.

Emotional connectivity can show up as charisma. These people are so deeply rooted in their work that they’re fully present with you and any type of performance falls away. It can also show up in a person as a quiet power which is more common in our CTOs. They’re with you the entire time but choose to turn more inwards than outwards.

The consequence of noticing this depth of connection as a strong founder quality is the responsibility I feel to protect it. Fast pressure from customers and relentless VC metrics can erode emotional connectivity over time in the best of us.

As much as I’m talking about our founders, I am also trying to protect something in myself.